Opening My Eyes: Genesis 1-3

Ok so just to start it off I want to post my first set of questions just so people understand what I mean. Questions go as follows:

• First question, I know we can't take these days literally but how long is a day when you're God?
• Chapter 1 Verse 5 God called the light Day and the Darkness Night, everybody knows that. This was the first day. Question lies in that God didn't make the "two great lights" -sun and moon for those who didn't catch it- to rule over the day and night until the fourth day. What's good with that?
• Ok so starting the fifth day, God made the flying creatures and the sea creatures right? Then the sixth day he made the land creatures and all of that. In these "God Days" could this be some type of evolution in relation to what modern science teaches? Just curious.
• When God is creating things, it says he created things after THEIR kind, ex. Let the earth bring forth the living creature after his kind OR blah blah blah Cattle after their kind. What the hell does that mean?
• In relation to the previous question, it says that Let US make man in OUR image, after our likeness... Who exactly is my bro talking to? And the Holy Trinity does not count as an acceptable answer for this question.....
• Chapter 2 Verse 5 it talks about there not being a man to till the ground. What happened to the niggas he was creating on the sixth day?
• Verse 11-12, why is it talking about the gold of the land in Pison being good and where tf is that exactly?
• Why was the tree of knowledge of good and evil the only tree that we couldn't eat from? Like that seems like something we might wanna know about lol
• Chapter 2 Verse 24, that's deep. I'ma need an explanation.
• Chapter 3, so was the serpent Lucifer at this time or was the snake just not shit from the jump? And how dumb was the woman cuz it didn't take much to convince her
• In Chapter 3 God seems pretty spiteful after they ate the fruit, but seeing how he's supposedly omnipotent and omnipresent how the hell did this happen? Explanation please. 
• Verse 21, so God is the first fashion designer in the universe? That's pretty dope lol
• Verse 22, it says "The man is become as one of us, to know good and evil..." who is he talking to when he says "us" and again, why was this such a bad thing? Explanation please.
• Verse 24, so there is a tree of life it's just protected by this flaming sword? Clarification please. 

*Just a note I'm reading from a King James version 

Just my thoughts. 

-Marcus J.

Opening My Eyes: The Plan

What's good family? Doubt anyone ever reads this anymore because I've been slacking so much on posting smh. But don't worry I have a new plan and I want everyone who reads this blog to be a part of this journey with me.

Background on this plan before I convey the whole thing to you.

So if you've read any of my posts, it is safe to assume that I am a few steps removed from the young Marcus that went to the Christian school and prayed multiple times a day to white Jesus. I've had my questions and my doubts about religion and everything and have been living in a more universal sense over the past couple of years (i.e. praying to the Creator and denouncing organized religion whenever I get the chance)

But something happened today that got my mind going. It's Easter Sunday, Resurrection Sunday, all that fun jazz right? And my friends are all deciding to go to church. I refrain, for the reasons stated above. Now, for some reason, I begin feeling guilty. Almost condemned to an extent. Why? No idea.

Then I come up with this thought. I've been denouncing religion but haven't found the reason why yet. I've just spent years with a radical ideology about the falseness of organized religion and how it is tearing the world apart, which at this point I still believe.

I could go on a whole rant about how church is crazy corrupt and how hypocritical the people who go there are and the dirtiest of people put on their nice clothes every Sunday to feel like the terrible actions that they commit the rest of the week are justified if they pray a couple times, BUT I will refrain and just tell you all my plan.

SOOOO when thinking about why I felt guilty and everything it clicked, I've been having all of these feelings about the church and I've just been sitting back and accepting it. I haven't explored deeply into the Bible and everything that the book contains. I haven't looked into other religions more than just at face value to see what separates them. I have just been sitting back letting time pass by. Disgusting.

So, the plan I came up with is to counteract this bitchassness that I've been allowing for myself over the past few years. What is it? Check it out.

There are 1,189 Chapters in the Holy Bible (shoutout Google for the answer). Break this down and it's just a little over 3 chapters to read each day in order to complete the book in a year. So my plan is, which I began today, to read 3 chapters a day. Through reading, I'll write down my questions, some I'll share on here some I'll just pocket for later, and I'll find different pastors to ask these questions to. Real answers only is what I'm looking for (if you know any knowledgable pastors leave some contact info below) and if by next Easter I decide that Christianity is what I decide to live my life by, then I dive in wholeheartedly.

Side note: If you're a Christian and you haven't done this I suggest you do it too. It's almost like reading the fine print on a deal that kind of deals with the fate of your soul for the rest of eternity. Digress.

Back to the plan. Like I said I'll read the whole Bible in this year's time before next Easter, and if I agree with everything and most/all of my questions have been answered then I'm all in. Back to the good God fearing Christian Marcus that accepts everything in the religion for what it is.

However, if I find things that don't sit right- like my assumption that the Bible tells the story of a certain type of people that do not share my lineage- then I plan on repeating this process with different religions until I find the one that does.

Islam, Buddism, Scientology, you name it, I'll do it. Worst case scenario I find out that I'm against all of them and just have a wealth of knowledge about all man made religion and finally know exactly why I'm against it. Best case scenario, I find the religion that the universe wanted me to find and I become fully absorbed until my mid-life crisis where something like this could happen again lol.

So family, there it is. My plan. The journey should be interesting and most likely hard to keep up with considering that I can barely remember to brush my teeth everyday let alone read these chapters and write fundamental questions, but I think it'll be more than rewarding.

With that being said, if you read this and you have any questions or comments about it let me know. Hit me up and we can discuss what I've found. It's time that we stop letting people tell us what to accept and we find out what's truly best for us.

As always, these are just my thoughts.

Marcus J.

Stressin...

What's good family, just a new post since I haven't posted one in a while.

I'm actually in the middle of a lot of things happening right now but I thought I'd post before I start going a tad bit psycho again. As you can see from the title, the topic of this post is simply stress. But, of course, with me it's never that simple. So I'll share my thoughts.

So as my life stands, I am preparing to graduate in the spring, so I am enrolled full time in class, involved in several organizations, planning a regional conference, looking for full time jobs, trying to balance a social life and living how I need to all at the same time, all while being the introvert who doesn't discuss problems or struggles that I am going through. Easy enough to be a bit stressed right? But that's the furthest thing from what's stressing me out. Well, kind of.

Ya see, although I am very stressed about these things I am mature enough to understand that these are positive stressors. They are stress causers that will be used in my future to determine who I am as a man and what I am able to do in my lifetime. So as opposed to actual stress they are mental and psychological tests placed on me by the universe to prove that I am capable of fulfilling whatever my destiny is. At least that's what I tell myself in order to keep me from going insane.

So what may stress me out instead of this stuff, right? The negative stresses of the world. The injustices, the ignorance, the system people are placed in, the complete bullshit shade that is in front of everyone world-wide. It's all so stressful it physically hurts my heart to think about. Like actual chest pains. But whatever, I'll continue.

What's been stressing me out lately? Ebola, dumb as fuck. Mike Brown's case and bullshit grand jury, dumb as fuck. People and all these new trends, dumb as fuck. It's all pretty stupid to me but the thing that stresses me out the most is the media. Like dammit man, it really just controls everything. Something with the potential to have a positive impact on the way people live like the immediate stream of information has become such a terrible thing that has no substance for the most part. And even the media that has substance, if not swayed, is so hard to find you would be better off just giving up anyways.

The media controls everything people think, indirectly controlling people's actions, then controlling what we accept as a society. And what are we accepting as a society currently? Death, destruction, horror, ignorance, hate, violence, and no regards for humanity or life in any form. We're all being herded into specific lanes by people who are controlling these media giants in order to advance their monetary gain. First thing stressing me tf out. If you don't feel me you should stop reading here while you're ahead.

What stresses me out even more than this? You know all of those stressors that I mentioned to begin, ya know the positive stressors? I'm starting to feel like these type of things are placed there by these overarching bodies too! And instead of everyone working to make a change for the better of all of us, we are caught up on our day to day lives doing the things that people have planted in our minds that are the right way to grow. This is my main stressor.

The thing that gets me is this, the majority of people hate what they do. No one looks forward to going to work, no one receives the money that they think they deserve, no one knows their true power. On top of that there's no jobs, there's no passion, there's no appreciation, there's no love, feels like there's not even humanity in our society. Everyone's just a number that fits their role in our upside down society.

Using myself as an example. I'm in school. Why? I want to better my life, I want to do better than my parents and make sure my children are better off than I was growing up.  But this is what I realized the other day, I'm applying to all of these jobs that pay very well for a person who only obtained a BSE degree and I'm on pace to do very well for myself but what I noticed is the only thing I will be doing is helping myself while the masses are still being destroyed. My ultimate goal is to help my community, and instead of taking large steps to impact the community I'm just doing what I can while maintaining this false dream that society placed on me. Personally, the most important things that I have learned in college have not been in a class room, they've been through observations of my peers and other things (I'll get to that in another post though).

What else have I learned? Most people who are in school are chasing dreams due to their parents, or their friends, or their whatever. But everyone wants to make a change. Idk what I'm even talking about anymore foreal I'm just ranting, but whatever it's my blog I can do what I want.

In my mind it is just frustrating knowing the power that everyone has, but instead of bonding together we just keep complaining about our situations and following how the system is laid out.

Think about this... No one likes paying for college right? It's even free in some countries, but in America it costs hundreds of thousands of dollars. Money that could change people's lives, and even the nation's economy if spent right. Yet we all still pay, year in and year out, and continue to pay. What if one year every college student in America decided we've had enough of this shit, most institutions have billion dollar endowments anyways, we're going to skip our payments as a whole. What would happen to the system? Would they put locks on everyone in the nation? Would they panic? Would the system be shook? What would actually happen?

Or what about this.. What if everyone who hated their jobs, ya know the people at the bottom of the totem pole, they just all decided not to go to work one day? They actually figured out that the executives who do half or less of the work they do make 60% more, and they just stop. What would happen to the flow of things? How would the system react?

What if everyone who can't afford food for their family just all got together and decided to go to the grocery stores together, workers at the stores included, and decided "We're not going to pay today because we just simply can't afford it..." What would happen?

So my stress isn't that I have all these things to worry about. I've never been one to complain at the beautiful opportunities the creator has put in my life. My stresses are over people not knowing their power, the elite controlling these people and leading into more ignorance, and the roles that all of us, even myself, are allowing ourselves to be placed into. I'm stressed out about the system and how no one even realizes how we are all a victim of it, regardless if we want to be or not.

And yeah you might think I'm crazy. We need doctors, and we need lawyers, and we need (insert a generic profession here), but the world is pretty damn old and I'm sure the way we're living has to be one that is pretty blind from what life on this earth is really about. Smh, people killing people with no second thoughts, people raping, people lying, people scamming, people just doing anything they can just to get by and the worst are the people who figure they have wealth so they can just escape it all. At the end of the day every soul on this earth is interconnected in some kind of way, I just pray people will begin to realize it before it's too damn late... If it isn't already...

But fuck it what do I know right? I'm just an engineer who's struggling to graduate, lol.

I wish people would wake the fuck up, including myself...

Thanks for the rant, fam.

As always, just my thoughts...

Marcus J.

Riots vs. Reform

Watsup famliy? I know I've been absent for a minute, I seem to keep starting posts and only saving them as drafts because of the length of them and the different things I have going on, but please believe everything will start coming out slowly but surely. Thanks for rockin with me this long.

As you could've guessed this post will be about the recent situations in which the police have been gunning down unarmed men, and though the main focus was on Michael Brown, it also happened outside of my hometown of Ohio (man was gunned down in a Walmart for having a BB gun). 

What is my personal opinion on the matter? Well more and more, I am starting to become indifferent. I will explain, briefly. As stated in one of past posts, "MJ's 50 Year Theory", the injustice that we face as African-Americans in the United States has never gone away since slavery, but has only altered. Most times, when it alters we begin to get comfortable again, and the false majority gladly eases back in more extreme than they were to begin with. This is messed up right? So why would I start becoming indifferent instead of enraged? Well, simply put, because of my observations on the masses. I'll explain.

And just to note, this in no way is to say that as a race we have no hope, but it is written to make you think and quite possibly feel some type of way about these thoughts. If you don't you may be part of the problem that I am addressing. 

So my indifference comes from the masses. The short term memory that our community has and the lack of sacrifice that people are willing to endure to make a substantial change. It seems to be like a terrible sitcom, like one of those weak ass Tyler Perry shows that only would be shown on TBS -btw F Tyler Perry, digress.

But do you understand what I want to say? I feel as though since I was in high school its been one racial tragedy after another. Each becoming worse and worse and what happens? It sparks a riot of some sort. People hit the streets for a day or two, let out some aggression, a couple of people get arrested, wounded, etc. then go home and wait for the next tragedy. And what does the oppressor do? They see how far we'll let them go. 

Example, Trayvon Martin, right? They said he "attacked" Zimmerman even though he had DIRECT orders from the local police to stop fuckin stalkin the kid. BANG, now he's dead, another African-American male shot down by someone racial profiling. And what did our community do? We wore T-Shirts, we had a couple rallies, we said "FUCK THE MAN", then went right back to partying and turnin up. So the fire dwindled to a couple flames. All the while, there were like 4 other cases of young black men getting shot, especially the one where the nigga got shot at a gas station in the face by a white man because he wouldn't turn his music down! SMFH. I'll move on.

So these things keep happening, right? And now this new situation happened. They shot an unarmed man, who had his hands up, and idek what their reasoning is this time foreal, that's how you can tell that they really don't care anymore lol. And what's happening? Oh, you know, the riots start, dumbasses start looting, and in a couple of weeks or months people will go back to their lives, the whole while they destroyed their own neighborhoods, and go back to accepting their fate as not shit in the public eye. And so on and so forth. With only a couple sparks still lit from the wildfire.

Now, to explain my indifference, if you haven't caught on. We're all being blind. We're living in the same damn system that our elders were when they started the civil rights movement. True, it was worse back then with lynching being a whole public spectacle, but I'd be curious just to see the black men and jail now vs. then and the comparison of recorded lynchings with recorded black men shot by "intimidated" men and police. For some reason, my logic tells me they wouldn't be too far off of each other. Shit, if it wasn't for the media they'd still probably be public spectacles in some places. I digress. Back to my point.

My indifference comes in seeing that this pattern is not ending, and will not end until people wise up. It seems like the sparks that are left try to catch on with other people, but by that time there's nothing left to burn until you have something new. We waste all of our anger on events instead of the system, which makes our aim short term instead of on the bigger picture. Put that along with the fact that the government is actually scaring people to death by these public showings, and we damn near have the hunger games on our hands.

Now, my main point. This is what differentiates riots and reforms. Riots are short term because they are near sighted. They aren't looking for the bigger picture because all that they see is in front of them. They're not trying to change the system, they're just products of being reactive to the system. And although they gather the masses for the week, month, or couple of months, they do not have nor are willing to bear the pain of a reform.

See, a reform is much different. These are led by the visionaries that open people's eyes to the bigger picture. These visionaries are often killed by "anonymous" people in order to scare the masses back into their "riot only" space though. The thing is, though, a new visionary always rises. Reforms are held to challenge the system and change the injustices, whether through peace or through action. And in reforms, the people have to be willing to bare the pain of the world in order for generations that come after them to live in a better place, or to keep the torch burning. 

I mean damn, during the civil rights movement they were spraying niggas with fire hoses from 3 feet away. I got hit with one of those from 20 feet away and it left a bruise! They sicked the dogs, they beat, bloodied, and killed people. It happens like that in reform. Because one day someone realizes, "Well damn, if it's happening already anyways we might as well make it happen for a reason."

The difference for our generation, there's a lot more than just black people who are hurting. It's not just black and white anymore. Hispanics, actually many types of immigrants, blacks, whites, it doesn't matter anymore. People are starving, people are hurting, people are dying. The media paints it as a race war in order to separate the people into categories so we don't stand as one, and they smart as hell because it always works. But what people don't know is that they people controlling the media are controlling the police pensions, controlling the stock markets, controlling the market goods, shit even control the politicians. I talk about the false majority because they're the enemy. That's the meaning of a reform, to unite the people against them, and make them change the way things are handled. I digress.

So my indifference comes from this never ending cycle of our society being reactive instead of proactive. And if you don't understand what I am saying, ask yourself this question. If we know we live in a society where this is even a possibility, where unarmed men can be gunned down with little to know consequences, then why are we just sitting here? And what will it take for it to stop happening?

If you can't answer these questions with a logical answer, even after thinking about it time and time again, you tend to either get frustrated or indifferent. You know where I am.

Just my thoughts.

Marcus J.

Questioning Universal Laws?

Watsup family? So this post might go along with my last couple, but whatever it's my blog right? I can say whatever I want to. I'm sure somebody out there is going to see it and begin to think about something relevant.

So with that being said we're back at the topic, as you can see from the title, of the universe. You could actually write about the universe all day, every day and come up with new conclusions all of the time just because it's so vast and we keep coming up with different things, but I'll go on later.

This post is about a couple universal laws I've been researching, starting with the Law of Vibration. If you've read my old posts you would've seen I've talked about this before. How everything in the universe is nothing but energy, vibrating at different frequencies which ultimately gives off the illusion that somethings are completely solid and all that stuff right? Won't preach on it, but it's a pretty cool thing to think about if you have some time to look into it and think about it.

Anyways, so recently I've been borderline obsessed with these type of laws and theories. I think I get this way of thinking from my Grandma Joy honestly, she always is talking about the coolest theories of the universe, but I'll save that for another day.

Back to the point, this Law of Vibrations is the base for a "law" -only use the quotation marks because I'm not sure how much of a law it truly is by scientific standards- called the Law of Attraction(s). This law is pretty cool too. It's pretty much karma except a little deeper than that. So basically what it says is this energy that your body exerts from your everyday life -you know, since your body is simply energy from your thoughts to your matter- determines what happens to you/what the universe sends in your direction. The law is in effect every second of every day, right? And whatever has happened to you has been attracted by your thoughts and actions. Think you guys got it by this point.

**Side Note: for a quick reference I found this little WikiHow thing when I was looking through stuff for this, lol. Seems pretty straightforward (http://www.wikihow.com/Use-the-Law-of-Attraction)**

So I had a bit of a split feeling about this law, right? And I know many of you guys will be able to see my thinking.

So my first thought was about people who are products of their situation? Not the people who are lazy, or just do dumb shit all the time, but people who are actually placed in situations with little to no way out, ya know? Example? Kids who are taken from their parents and forced to fight at a young age, or a kid that's homeless and has to face the realities of life from their earliest memories. I could go on but I think you'll get the point.

Does this law apply to them? I don't really have an answer, this is more of a question I've just been thinking about so if you have any input leave a comment, lol.

My next question was, does this law apply to actual physical needs or universal energy? Say you put all of your mind in soul into being an artist, right? There's no doubt in your mind you will be the greatest artist of all time. You beg the universe for the energy, and do nothing but master all of your artistry. Do you get satisfaction out of other people believing that you're the greatest artist of your generation and you get paid or do you get a universal high for all of the energy that you've asked for, type of thing, ya know? Also, didn't come up with any type of answer for this, just another thought.

My final thought, probably the most prevalent thought in my mind, is if it's really that easy why don't people actually do it? I've seen many people discuss this in their interviews, right? The most prominent figure is probably Will Smith. He talks about it in all of his bigger interviews, and about how the universe is a river that you can make go around you. He actually says some brilliant stuff. Like foreal, just YouTube some of his interviews about the keys to success and the universe. Da gawd... digress.

But if we know what to do to make these things happen, why doesn't everyone do it? Is it the stifling system that causes people to give up their ambitions to fall into a cookie cutter copy of what it needs to advance? Is it that people can't possibly believe that it could actually be that easy to determine their destiny? Or is it that people are just unwilling to sacrifice their physical wants in order to operate on a higher spiritual plane? Still, I have no answers.

Is it a combination of all of these things, is it people who have used these means to gain success scared that everyone will be able to take what they have achieved, is it a reciprocation of what someone's soul has done in a past life? What is it really? I got mad questions that I plan on asking the Almighty someday, I digress.

Last thought I'll leave you guys with, what if everyone (or even a majority of people) were able to achieve their ultimate successes through using this law? What would be able to happen to the planet we live on, the society we live in, the age we are present in? I know I posted about Utopia a couple weeks ago, but I don't think that is what would happen. I think the time we would live in would be a lot different, and happier, and successful, but what would it actually be like? Who knows right?

Anyways, maybe I'll readdress these questions with my own thoughts another day, but for now I'll just continue to think as I listen to Jimmy Cliff, haha. But I do ask if you read this to think about the questions I asked, and come up with your own answers. I feel like if enough people come up with answers it could be a key that would unlock potential in countless people. And in the direction we're headed, that's exactly what we need.

Leave comments, questions, rebuttal. All with respect, please.

Just my thoughts.

Marcus J.

P.S. My blog has made it passed 1,000 views now, so if you are someone who reads this blog from time to time I just want to say thank you, and hopefully I continue to say stuff that interests you. Let's FUTW!

-Marcus J

Contradiciton...

Ok, so I know I just finished my other post but Bitches Brew got me thinking, like it always does, so I had to post a quick something about the amazing contradictions that are in our everyday lives. Real quick.

Contradiction:

a :  logical incongruity

b :  a situation in which inherent factors, actions, or propositions are inconsistent or contrary to one another

Straight from the Merriam-Webster, right? But think about how many contradictory things you notice everyday. Example, the universe (or multiverse) contradiction. Think about this, the known universe is currently millions of light-years in radius, and more is being discovered everyday. Then think about how irrelevant your life is in terms of the universe. Shit, even planet earth has billions of people with people being born and dying every day. So this makes you feel useless huh? Then think about the people you have encountered in your life time, the people you have directly effected their lives. The countless people you still have to meet and encourage and pick up. Your life isn't pointless in that aspect, right? This contradiction is the perfect thing to keep people humble and confident at the same time, right?

Or think about knowledge, right? If you know about my infatuation with Socrates you know my favorite quote of his is about how he was wise because he knew he knew nothing. But he was still one of the smartest men living in his time (can be debated but don't kill my vibe). 

Or think about the darkness in the world. Every day people get raped, murdered, cheated, etc. But think about the potential to change, and all the good people can do if they put their mind to it! I would hate to live in a perfect world, then nobody would know pain. But to live in a society that is working to actually clean up the bullshit that we live in right now? I would love that!

These contradictions that just happen, the angel and devil on your shoulder and everybody's shoulder in the world, these are the things that make life worth living. Sorry to say, I personally believe if you make too many deals with the devil you get placed back here in a worse situation, but if you make these right moves your energy gets to go on and do what only the creator knows. 

Embrace the contradictions, man. Understand them, observe them, study them because at the end of the day they're all placed there by the universe and there's nothing that you can do about them. The more you know about them the more you can use them to your advantage.

If anybody has any examples I'm down to listen to some because I think it's one of the coolest things ever. Stars turn to black holes, carcasses turn to oil, even shit turns to fertilizer lmao. It's the way of the universe man. Damn whoever made this place is amazing. All praise to The Creator.

 Ok, I'm done now. Just had to let that one out real quick. Comment, question, criticize. Do so with respect.

Just my thoughts.

Marcus J.

The Conscious Negro...

Quick note - If you read this while you listen to Bitches Brew by Miles Davis it might make it cool, lol. Enjoy!

Hey everybody, back with another post today from some thinking and research that I was up to these past couple of days. This post, titled "The Conscious Negro", is what I believe to be a modern day rendition of the famous W.E.B. Du Bois theory of the African-American double consciousness that he spoke on in many of his writings. Soooo let's get into it!

Where did this come from, you may be wondering, right? (Well, maybe not if you read these posts from time to time you'll see there's a trend, lol) but this post, like all my others, came from somewhat of a minimal thing. 

If you know me personally, you would know that my favorite artist out at the time is J Cole. His story, his flow, his artistry within the rap/hip-hop genre right now is something that can only be paired with the greats. He's really a modern legend that we're watching emerge right before our eyes, well and Kendrick and people like that, digress. 

So I'm listening to J Cole songs on shuffle, anything from The Warm Up to Born Sinner and I don't know what it is, but I feel like he really tells a similar story to mine. Of course as an artist you're supposed to connect with the listener, but anything from being mixed to making it out of a rough neighborhood to go to college, it just all connects. But through his projects you can see a theme, right? And if this post relates to you, you should check out his music too.

The theme? This type of bipolar syndrome that comes from the contradictions that you've seen in your life. This love for life and everything that makes it what it is to you, but also this undying hatred from the lives that you've seen. I'll explain further, on my behalf - I don't know J Cole personally so don't quote anything I say about his lyrics and how I interpret them. Cool.

But for example, growing up I didn't realize that my family had money problems. We were happy. I have the best family in the world, man, swear to the Almighty. My family has everything money could never amount to, from love to trust to actual friendship and memories. I love my family; both sides black and white. Digress, I could go for days about that. 

Anyways I never realized we weren't, you know, "well off" financially until I began getting older. Slowly I started realizing how this whole system worked, right? It wasn't until I applied for schools, and got into college that my eyes were opened. I've talked about it before so I won't hark on it too long, but it's ridiculous that someone can make millions of dollars, sometimes billions, and all they do is sit somewhere and chill all day, if they even do that much. Like do people understand the Mars family are all on the USA most wealthy list and have not worked a day in their lives? Meanwhile there are people who work 55-60 hours a week and make less than $50,000. Like if you don't think that system is stupid as fuck, please explain to me.

Anyways, so I'm listening to J Cole and these themes arise time and time again, and it sparks some thoughts in my mind that I've always kind of had but I never researched. So I came along Du Bois "double consciousness"  theories and read them for a couple days. And while what he says is brilliant and I believe time-less, I believe there's a new element that can be added to this theory.

So, this post is about the "conscious negro" in today's society, in particular in my generation. Generation Y, where blacks are portrayed as hip-hop junkies and you're either a hipster/thug that "turns up" or you're someone who went against the stereotypes and went to school and all that jazz. Mind you, I respect all of these people. This post is for when someone is the combination of the two.

If you read my post "I F**k Up..." you'll see I have vices that I try to deal with. I've been getting better to some degree but it seems no matter how hard I try, it's almost ingrained in my mind that these things are a part of me... it's actually shitty. And that's where this post comes from, because I know I can't be the only one.

So for the conscious negro of today's age, and yes I will label myself as one of them. We know, are conscious, of the contradictions in our lifestyle. The ying-yang that is ever so apparent in our lives. We know that we are conscious for a reason and that we are here for a greater purpose, but we still have these demons. We know the money we waste every so many days on liquor, drugs and partying (or whatever you do) and we know what we could do if we saved that money, but we spend it anyways. We know how much time we waste doing some of the BS that we do, and how much we could gain if we were productive during that time period, but we waste it anyways. I could go on for a while with examples but I'll stop there.

This is not new, by the way. I'm sure MLK had the same problems, knowing that a black man is supposed to be strong for black women and be above adultery yet he still had his missteps. Point proven.

But for our generation it is different. Point being, there is a major divide today. Between the different type of people that are in different points in their lives. I am not sure how to connect to a 14-15 year old who has already started selling drugs just to make some side money. But I know it's happening, though. I know because those were my friends when I was younger. Not bad, just misguided. Not ignorant, just knowledgeable in the wrong walks of life. This is where I believe this "conscious negro" holds the power and promise of our generation.

**I've been bouncing around this post, but I'm listening to the album Bitches Brew by Miles Davis and it's got my mind everywhere so just bear with me. I'll make my point coming up soon. lol**

So for the conscious negro of our generation. The ones who know what it's like in the rough neighborhoods, but also know what's happening in the corporate world as well. The ones who are in between, with a foot at the bottom of the barrel and the other still walking up the steps. For all of us who can swear that we're bipolar because it makes no damn sense why we can love and hate so much at the same damn time, I'm talking to you all. It is our job, our duty to start a movement. And not a movement that only will engage people who were already on the right path, a movement that brings power to the people. Regardless of race, gender, sexual orientation. Shit the Black Panthers did so much work for the LGBT and white poverty communities, they just don't teach you that because they try to paint them as a certain type of group, whatever. 

Anyways, it is up to us to spark the fire. I write this on the 50 year anniversary of the 1964 Civil Rights Act, and can say without a doubt that there is still much work to do. I believe we are the only ones who can connect our suburban friends who we met in college to the "hood" friends that we grew to be who we are with. We are the ones who have seen more than one layer on the totem pole and have made marks in both of them. We have the technology to do so, we have the knowledge to do so, we just need the organization and collaboration to do so.

By this point I probably lost everybody, which is cool. If you made it this far do your own research on Du Bois and "double consciousness" then go listen to a song by J Cole titled "2 Face" you'll see what I'm getting at. Our lives are perfect contradictions. Ying-yangs. Until we understand that we cannot make a profound change. Open your mind and become conscious. The world is depending on it, foreal.

I'll leave you all with this quote. 

"To be a Negro in this country and to be relativily conscious is to be in rage almost all the time." - James Baldwin

Just my thoughts.

Marcus J.