Stressin...

What's good family, just a new post since I haven't posted one in a while.

I'm actually in the middle of a lot of things happening right now but I thought I'd post before I start going a tad bit psycho again. As you can see from the title, the topic of this post is simply stress. But, of course, with me it's never that simple. So I'll share my thoughts.

So as my life stands, I am preparing to graduate in the spring, so I am enrolled full time in class, involved in several organizations, planning a regional conference, looking for full time jobs, trying to balance a social life and living how I need to all at the same time, all while being the introvert who doesn't discuss problems or struggles that I am going through. Easy enough to be a bit stressed right? But that's the furthest thing from what's stressing me out. Well, kind of.

Ya see, although I am very stressed about these things I am mature enough to understand that these are positive stressors. They are stress causers that will be used in my future to determine who I am as a man and what I am able to do in my lifetime. So as opposed to actual stress they are mental and psychological tests placed on me by the universe to prove that I am capable of fulfilling whatever my destiny is. At least that's what I tell myself in order to keep me from going insane.

So what may stress me out instead of this stuff, right? The negative stresses of the world. The injustices, the ignorance, the system people are placed in, the complete bullshit shade that is in front of everyone world-wide. It's all so stressful it physically hurts my heart to think about. Like actual chest pains. But whatever, I'll continue.

What's been stressing me out lately? Ebola, dumb as fuck. Mike Brown's case and bullshit grand jury, dumb as fuck. People and all these new trends, dumb as fuck. It's all pretty stupid to me but the thing that stresses me out the most is the media. Like dammit man, it really just controls everything. Something with the potential to have a positive impact on the way people live like the immediate stream of information has become such a terrible thing that has no substance for the most part. And even the media that has substance, if not swayed, is so hard to find you would be better off just giving up anyways.

The media controls everything people think, indirectly controlling people's actions, then controlling what we accept as a society. And what are we accepting as a society currently? Death, destruction, horror, ignorance, hate, violence, and no regards for humanity or life in any form. We're all being herded into specific lanes by people who are controlling these media giants in order to advance their monetary gain. First thing stressing me tf out. If you don't feel me you should stop reading here while you're ahead.

What stresses me out even more than this? You know all of those stressors that I mentioned to begin, ya know the positive stressors? I'm starting to feel like these type of things are placed there by these overarching bodies too! And instead of everyone working to make a change for the better of all of us, we are caught up on our day to day lives doing the things that people have planted in our minds that are the right way to grow. This is my main stressor.

The thing that gets me is this, the majority of people hate what they do. No one looks forward to going to work, no one receives the money that they think they deserve, no one knows their true power. On top of that there's no jobs, there's no passion, there's no appreciation, there's no love, feels like there's not even humanity in our society. Everyone's just a number that fits their role in our upside down society.

Using myself as an example. I'm in school. Why? I want to better my life, I want to do better than my parents and make sure my children are better off than I was growing up.  But this is what I realized the other day, I'm applying to all of these jobs that pay very well for a person who only obtained a BSE degree and I'm on pace to do very well for myself but what I noticed is the only thing I will be doing is helping myself while the masses are still being destroyed. My ultimate goal is to help my community, and instead of taking large steps to impact the community I'm just doing what I can while maintaining this false dream that society placed on me. Personally, the most important things that I have learned in college have not been in a class room, they've been through observations of my peers and other things (I'll get to that in another post though).

What else have I learned? Most people who are in school are chasing dreams due to their parents, or their friends, or their whatever. But everyone wants to make a change. Idk what I'm even talking about anymore foreal I'm just ranting, but whatever it's my blog I can do what I want.

In my mind it is just frustrating knowing the power that everyone has, but instead of bonding together we just keep complaining about our situations and following how the system is laid out.

Think about this... No one likes paying for college right? It's even free in some countries, but in America it costs hundreds of thousands of dollars. Money that could change people's lives, and even the nation's economy if spent right. Yet we all still pay, year in and year out, and continue to pay. What if one year every college student in America decided we've had enough of this shit, most institutions have billion dollar endowments anyways, we're going to skip our payments as a whole. What would happen to the system? Would they put locks on everyone in the nation? Would they panic? Would the system be shook? What would actually happen?

Or what about this.. What if everyone who hated their jobs, ya know the people at the bottom of the totem pole, they just all decided not to go to work one day? They actually figured out that the executives who do half or less of the work they do make 60% more, and they just stop. What would happen to the flow of things? How would the system react?

What if everyone who can't afford food for their family just all got together and decided to go to the grocery stores together, workers at the stores included, and decided "We're not going to pay today because we just simply can't afford it..." What would happen?

So my stress isn't that I have all these things to worry about. I've never been one to complain at the beautiful opportunities the creator has put in my life. My stresses are over people not knowing their power, the elite controlling these people and leading into more ignorance, and the roles that all of us, even myself, are allowing ourselves to be placed into. I'm stressed out about the system and how no one even realizes how we are all a victim of it, regardless if we want to be or not.

And yeah you might think I'm crazy. We need doctors, and we need lawyers, and we need (insert a generic profession here), but the world is pretty damn old and I'm sure the way we're living has to be one that is pretty blind from what life on this earth is really about. Smh, people killing people with no second thoughts, people raping, people lying, people scamming, people just doing anything they can just to get by and the worst are the people who figure they have wealth so they can just escape it all. At the end of the day every soul on this earth is interconnected in some kind of way, I just pray people will begin to realize it before it's too damn late... If it isn't already...

But fuck it what do I know right? I'm just an engineer who's struggling to graduate, lol.

I wish people would wake the fuck up, including myself...

Thanks for the rant, fam.

As always, just my thoughts...

Marcus J.